I’ve noticed this
growth on my cat’s right
cheekbone. It seemed to be
growing by the day. We
don’t leave the house
often but I figured I
better take him to the vet.
The vet palpated the growth
and said it was nothing but
a growth and that I should
pay him a good sum of money
before we leave.
A month later the growth
was considerably bigger,
almost like a small marble.
When I had called the vet,
his secretary answered the
phone and apologized because
he died.
I told her that’s okay
I would go see another
vet tomorrow.
But when I turned on
the news next morning
I learned there was a
serial killer in town who
was murdering veterinarians,
and I decided I wouldn’t
want to put myself
or my cat in their way.
So I resorted to praying
instead.

After about a week my
cat’s growth fell off by
itself and I took it and
dried it and ground it to a
fine powder, which I then
made into a cup of
coffee.
It was delicious.
And it gave me superpowers.
Now I can taste people's emotions.
No matter where I bite them.

Born an emaciated preemie, ABER O. GRAND grew up to be the largest man of his lineage. He attributes his size to a lifelong consumption of hummus and his mother’s early life in a small town next to a nuclear power plant. His work appears or is forthcoming in Strange Horizons, Andromeda Spaceways, Mithila Review, Flash: The International Short-Short Story Magazine, Leading Edge, and he has won the Bernice Schaffer Bessin Poetry Award.