Coffee
I’ve noticed this
growth on my cat’s right
cheekbone. It seemed to be
growing by the day. We
don’t leave the house
often but I figured I
better take him to the vet.
The vet palpated the growth
and said it was nothing but
a growth and that I should
pay him a good sum of money
before we leave.
A month later the growth
was considerably bigger,
almost like a small marble.
When I had called the vet,
his secretary answered the
phone and apologized because
he died.
I told her that’s okay
I would go see another
vet tomorrow.
But when I turned on
the news next morning
I learned there was a
serial killer in town who
was murdering veterinarians,
and I decided I wouldn’t
want to put myself
or my cat in their way.
So I resorted to praying
instead.
After about a week my
cat’s growth fell off by
itself and I took it and
dried it and ground it to a
fine powder, which I then
made into a cup of
coffee.
It was delicious.
And it gave me superpowers.
Now I can taste people's emotions.
No matter where I bite them.